It's amazing how I am continuously convinced that I if I flee far away in distance from something, that it may disappear completely. Well, a vacation feels amazing, but it's true that whatever you flee from will be exactly the same when you return.

I am grateful to say that my familiar spot, which I like to call home, is just as pleasing as a vacation spot. I love being near the ocean in my one home, and then i love being near the city in my other home. Two completely different areas, auras, and atmospheres. Each catering to different moods and spots in my heart. Silly, but true.

I am trying to tackle some of my negative neuro associations that I collected since birth. For one, I used to dread the thought of gong to Florida. I couldn't stand the idea of the humidity, the mosquitos, and the aunt that I was convinced hated me. Now that I have deleted what cause unhappiness, or pain rather than pleasure, I like to think more of what the place actually has to offer.

I decided to start things fresh on the airplane. The people surrounding me were all frustrated because there were about 15 of us in line with only one attendant at the Jet Blue station. I think we were all waiting for the same flight because the rest of the airport seemed a bit empty; I guess most people don't fly in the middle of the week and in the middle of the day. A woman was being helped at one station, and was struggling to figure out why her ticket was invalid. She was screaming at the man who was trying to help her, while also scolding her young son for climbing on the luggage carrier. The people waiting in front of and behind me were quickly growing impatient, making foul statements about the "poor service" and the "inconsiderate woman taking up everyone's time." Rather than being excited to either go on vacation or return home from one with [or to] their families and friends, they were bashing anything and everything that may put a glitch in the radar. I looked around and smiled and giggled to myself a little bit. My bag was extremely heavy and I was also carrying a book bag on my back, filled with too many things, more than enough food, and was sweating from the hear of the crowd of people, strong air blowing in from outside, and the many layers for the chill on the plane. However, I knew in some hours I would be arriving in Tampa to find my brother waiting for me, anticipating our short time together before I embark on a journey far in distance from him, not seeing him for a little over three months. Maybe I'm crazy, but waiting in line with a few discomforts was not nearly a concern of mine.

I think I've convinced myself that I can't sleep under certain circumstances. I went to sleep relatively late the past few nights, which is nothing new. This morning, I woke up much alter than usual and has coffee later in the day than usual as well. Of course, now I'm still awake, while some people may be starting their days in just a few hours and I myself may be reviving myself from this non-sleep coma to go about another exciting day with my brother. I'm sure if I just laid down, relaxed my body, and closed my eyes I could probably fall asleep. But, being the stubborn human being I am, I am on the computer, writing this entry. Hope that maybe someone's name will flash on my phone, someone will read this post and comment on it's relevance to their current situation, and so on. Oh well.

Goodnight to those have fallen to the depths of dreams. Say hello to them for me.

<3