It's amazing how I am continuously convinced that I if I flee far away in distance from something, that it may disappear completely. Well, a vacation feels amazing, but it's true that whatever you flee from will be exactly the same when you return.

I am grateful to say that my familiar spot, which I like to call home, is just as pleasing as a vacation spot. I love being near the ocean in my one home, and then i love being near the city in my other home. Two completely different areas, auras, and atmospheres. Each catering to different moods and spots in my heart. Silly, but true.

I am trying to tackle some of my negative neuro associations that I collected since birth. For one, I used to dread the thought of gong to Florida. I couldn't stand the idea of the humidity, the mosquitos, and the aunt that I was convinced hated me. Now that I have deleted what cause unhappiness, or pain rather than pleasure, I like to think more of what the place actually has to offer.

I decided to start things fresh on the airplane. The people surrounding me were all frustrated because there were about 15 of us in line with only one attendant at the Jet Blue station. I think we were all waiting for the same flight because the rest of the airport seemed a bit empty; I guess most people don't fly in the middle of the week and in the middle of the day. A woman was being helped at one station, and was struggling to figure out why her ticket was invalid. She was screaming at the man who was trying to help her, while also scolding her young son for climbing on the luggage carrier. The people waiting in front of and behind me were quickly growing impatient, making foul statements about the "poor service" and the "inconsiderate woman taking up everyone's time." Rather than being excited to either go on vacation or return home from one with [or to] their families and friends, they were bashing anything and everything that may put a glitch in the radar. I looked around and smiled and giggled to myself a little bit. My bag was extremely heavy and I was also carrying a book bag on my back, filled with too many things, more than enough food, and was sweating from the hear of the crowd of people, strong air blowing in from outside, and the many layers for the chill on the plane. However, I knew in some hours I would be arriving in Tampa to find my brother waiting for me, anticipating our short time together before I embark on a journey far in distance from him, not seeing him for a little over three months. Maybe I'm crazy, but waiting in line with a few discomforts was not nearly a concern of mine.

I think I've convinced myself that I can't sleep under certain circumstances. I went to sleep relatively late the past few nights, which is nothing new. This morning, I woke up much alter than usual and has coffee later in the day than usual as well. Of course, now I'm still awake, while some people may be starting their days in just a few hours and I myself may be reviving myself from this non-sleep coma to go about another exciting day with my brother. I'm sure if I just laid down, relaxed my body, and closed my eyes I could probably fall asleep. But, being the stubborn human being I am, I am on the computer, writing this entry. Hope that maybe someone's name will flash on my phone, someone will read this post and comment on it's relevance to their current situation, and so on. Oh well.

Goodnight to those have fallen to the depths of dreams. Say hello to them for me.

<3

This book is literally sucking me into it's pages. I haven't been able to put it down. Who says we can't take mental-massaging breaks at work? It isn't written somewhere, right?

"Imagine slipping into the back of a preschool class during one of the free times when the children can immerse themselves in anything they want to do. If you look carefully, you'll see that each child is revealing something special about what he or she is instinctively great at and feels most excited about or satisfied in doing."

Can you imagine living your life every day the way that you lived it as a pre-schooler?

Finger painting, playing in what you visualize to be your dream house with your best friends, eating imaginary Gourmet (or very ridiculously thought up) food, and playing, playing, playing.

Spontaneity and freedom and imagination at every turn of your head. The possibilities are endless when your a child because you are experiencing your "firsts." You have yet to experience the, "You're wrong!" OR "No, not like that- don't you listen?" OR "Are you kidding? That is impossible."

We don't believe in the impossible because everything in front of us is real and we see exactly what we believe we see. There hasn't been anyone to shield our eyes, blindfold what's in plain view, or attempt to taint our innocence. We take the world for what it is.

ABOVE: Marina Makaron Moscow
I remember working at Philly Fashion Week last year, going through thousands of garments and assigning models as we got ready for the runway shows. One of the featured designers, Marina Makaron Moscow has an amazing collection of scarves, tunics, dresses, and so on created in beautiful silks/satins that will flow over the body in the most perfectly pleasing and pleasurable manner. Not only are these extremely soft and flattering, but they are also striking in their bright colors and intricate designs. Unlike any scarf that you may have seen, these designs are extremely unique and will be considered one-of-a-kind for most American consumers, as she is a Russia-based designer, working her way to the states.
Check out the rest of the collection and Designer's success secrets on her site:
http://www.mmmakaron.com/english.html





Feeling sleepy and not extremely imaginative, I wonder what I could create out of this cubicle. Definitely a fort. A refrigerator with endless amounts of my favorite foods. A pop-out closet with vintage accessories and costumes and clothing for every mood and occasion. A record player with an unlimited playlist of the BEST music from the beginning of the 1950's to today...



I could go on forever.



The beauty of the imagination is that it has NO limits. The limits are also what we imagine. So, why limit ourselves to such dull and non-inspiring things? Dive deep into your inspiration and see how you may surprise yourself to do something today that you may not have done yesterday, simply because it didn't seem realistic, or grown-up of you.
Hey, grown-ups can imagine too.

As I saw goodbye for those going to their new schools- now home, learning environment, dining area, and recreational site- I try and envision myself stepping off the plane and arriving in another country. New air. New people. New buildings. Leave behind any worries and open my arms to something fresh and beautiful.

A book that I have been reading on and off all summer has been a slap in the face as a reminder that if I want to get what I want, I need to step my game up NOW.

The Other 90%, by Robert K. Cooper is not a typical story of success, rather a necessary tool to massage your mind and soul; a reminder that you CAN do what you love and create natural success; and what you project outward is reflected from within.

Though we tend to neglect the truth of our connectedness to the world and all its inhabitants, it truly is the key to creating success. "Caring is the glue," he states, "that holds all this together and enables people to shine."

Rather than constantly being so determined to one-up your neighbor, get the better grade, cut someone off on the road or in line, look prettier than your ex's new lover, and so on, decide that all of that doesn't matter. RUN YOUR OWN RACE. If we want to excel, we must not only use what we've been given- with the absence of competitive nature- but we must also reach beyond those human qualities to our personal, greatest potentials. Cheer the others on, let others see your light, and let them know WHAT YOU SEE IN THEIRS.

Maybe where young but that doesn't make us last

Counting down the days until everyone heads back to their new lives.
It's amazing how as we grow, we adapt to so many different environments and how quickly those worlds that at one point seemed so far from one another and so disconnected suddenly collide. Previous to my college experience, I wondered what my life would be like when I returned home; if things would start to look and feel different; if my friends would change simultaneously with my shift in surroundings. Well, things definitely changed and there was no good or bad, because those adjectives are really meaningless. But now, I have found that each of those worlds were really one all along. It's just our perception of where we are at a given point and where we think we will be headed next.

Currently sitting on a bed of a favorite girl's house in a small town in PA. It amazes me how I can go a place so many times, travel the same road over and over, and still find something different about the path that I took.

So, back to transitions and worlds colliding and BLAHBLAHBLAH.
Leaving for another country in one month and a handle or two of days. I always wonder what new "firsts" I'll experience each year. So far I have put color in my hair and cut it shorter than I've ever had it, commuted to school, and lots of other non-thrilling things. I am imagining right now what I'll be adding to the list as I hop onto a plane to go to another country. I guess that is something more prolific than learning to count to ten in French.


Cheesey Tempeh Sammies
Ingredients:

• Your choice of Tempeh (I prefer the grainy ones for this recipe in particular)
• Rice/Soy cheese
• Sunflower Bread
• Hummus/Favorite Spread
• Sprouts

Take the Tempeh and cut into two sections, and then in halves (width-wise) so that you have four thin squares. Cook Tempeh on a skillet or griddle until golden brown and remove, adding slices of cheese to each and sandwiching them together (this recipe makes two sandwiches). Sunflower bread can be spread with hummus, pesto, or your favorite condiment. Place sprouts on top, then cheesey tempeh, then close with other piece of sunflower bread.

Simple, easy peezy, and enjoyable.

And I Told You To Be Patient

And I Told You To Be Fine

I Told You To Be Balanced

I Told You To Be Kind

Closing time. Until we meet again.

Jaymay - Gray Or Blue Lyrics @ LyricsTime.com

Things that I want to do:

De-complexify things.

Make banana bread.

Eat less cereal.

Hey, Jude.

The beauty about a city like Philadelphia is that it becomes a part of you. Whenever you aren't there, you're wondering what's going on there.

When you're there, you always meet someone new, even if you've been to that place a million and one times before.

It becomes your home, as well as your escape.

Even when you don't have any obligations there, you wouldn't mind hopping in the car- alone or with a couple of friends- just to see the city skyline, get a cup of coffee, and breathe in that city air.

There's nothing better.

• drape - arrange in a particular way; "drape a cloth"
• drape - place casually; "The cat draped herself on the sofa"
• drape - curtain: hanging cloth used as a blind (especially for a window)
• drape - clothe: cover as if with clothing; "the mountain was clothed in tropical trees"
• drape - the manner in which fabric hangs or falls; "she adjusted the drape of her skirt

DRAPING. in ten hours. I wonder which context I'll be using...

Beautiful. Days. Unfold.

"There's always hope, no matter what happened before."

--Edie Sedgwick.

Factory Girl. I wonder who the Edie Sedgwick equivalent would be considered in society...

I mean, there is never a replica for a person, but I wonder who is the broken star that everyone loves and wants to be, but really knows nothing about.

My mom and I both agree that every person is broken in one way or another. We all start off sort of the same. And then, somewhere quickly along the way we become tainted. We can't do enough, we never look good enough, our hair is too short and then it's too long, we're too skinny and then we're too fat. Here we are, always trying to change ourselves, when all we really nee is to open our eyes and see the person, rather than what we attach to that person.

It's all GUILT BY ASSOCIATION. Things. Matter. Material. It's all meaningless.

I wonder where Edie would be now.

Maybe we'll meet someday.

SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HER OWN BEAUTY

Above: 16 yrs. Less than 1 yr. of experience. Thought that I was crazy when I told her she was beautiful. Asked her to simply let me take a photo, and this was the pose I got in a split second; no thought; no second guesses. One motion.

After producing the fashion show for PhilaU for the second year in a row, you'd think I'd be a little less amazed by certain things. But this year I feel like I was even more awe struck at the beauty, poise and natural movement of the models than the previous year.

My mom and I were having a conversation (it seems to be recurring) about time. I don't generally become stressed unless I feel challenged with time. I blame it for causing me to doubt myself, when in reality time is inanimate and can't do anything to control me, unless I allow it to that is. Well, thanks to Henry Van Dyke I get it a little bit more now:

“Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.”

Time is time is time is time.

No matter how we twist or turn it, it's always the same. The numbers don't change, nor does the space between them. It is our own interpretation that we allow to cause discomforts.

A statement to solve any problematic situation: I can dance if I want to.

and to all, a goodnight.