Good day.

My head has been congested, but I have allowed myself to pretend that I feel fantastic, and with the help of a sauna I am actually believing it. Today was a strange day. Maybe its because I don't remember

most of it.

TIME. It's one thing that is consistent in my life, yet somehow I always seem to struggle with it. There are days when I feel that certain experiences drag on for days, when in reality it is in the time span of nearly a few hours. There are days when I feel as though I blinked and all that I had done disappeared, as if it were never even there. I have been known to be a person who has little concept of time. Sometimes, I'd like to think I'm leaving the house in five minutes, when I usually end up thinking of things that I want to bring with me as I walk down the stairs, or forget that I had to call that person before 3pm and it's already 230, and so on. I came to the realization that as long

as I believe that TIME is a problem in my life, or causes road blocks for me, or is something that I just can't seem to GRASP, it will always be a problem. SO. Instead of viewing it as a problem, here I am, pretending that time is time is time is time. It is a number on the clock. Rather than controlling my life, it is a guide which I use my advantage to help me schedule appointments, meet with friends, and be efficient with everything that I do in my life. And just like I pretended that I felt great today, I will pretend that time is my friend.

And since I can't change it, what's the sense it getting frustrated?

(This is the end) This story's old but it goes On and on until we disappear (This is the calm) Calm me and let me taste the Salt you breathed while you were underneath (We are drowning) I am the

one who haunts your Dreams of mountains sunk below the sea (After the storm)I spoke the words but never Gave a thought to what they all could mean (Rest in the deep) I know that this is what you want

A funeral keeps both of us apart (Washed up on the beach) You know that you are not alone I need you like water in my lungs (This is the end)

Since my attachment to materials is pretty much non-existent, tomorrow I will shed myself of some serious inches on my thick mop of hair. New year, new hair. Maybe that's silly, but I'd like to think that it's something fresh. After a rollercoaster of events this past year, I think something could be just what I need. Plus, I HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD TO LET IT GROW BACK.

I learned yesterday that what I believe is only what I believe, anyway. So why does it matter what significance hair is "supposed" to have. What would it matter if my hair looked like what a boy's is supposed to? Or what if it were the color of what we would think the color of grass is? It's only strange because we have a pre-conceived thought as to what something SHOULD look like, act like, feel like, taste like before we even get to do a test drive. Sometimes I wish that i could step into a super market without knowing what ANYTHING was. I could buy an entire cart's worth of groceries and not know a thing about any of the items. Could you imagine the possibilities? I could make the wildest meal ever; something that would be simply absurd to what we believe the average human being SHOULD be creating. It's a fact that we essentially "train" ourselves to act a certain way. Our behavior has been created by all which we are taught, observe, and convinced from day one on- usually beginning the first ten, or so years of our lives. Scary, huh? I'd say its a little bit annoying, but that's only because I'd like to change some of my thoughts that feel permanently embedded into my subconscious. Am I throwing too much out there? Well... that's how I felt too when I first heard it. NOW I can't wait to see what I'm capable of. Because I'm aware. It's all there. We just have to listen a little more clearly, look a little bit closer, and touch a little more gently. Did I miss anything?

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Food for thought: simplify, simplify, simplify.

Thank you, Brand New: This is the end.